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What Is Emotional Safety, and How to Create It in Your Relationships?

What Is Emotional Safety, and How to Create It in Your Relationships?

Emotional safety is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It’s about trust, being able to show your vulnerabilities, and feeling secure at all times with your partner.

When you feel emotionally safe, you can show your true self without fear. When this happens, you create the means for your partner to do the same – sharing this emotional security with your loved one will pave the way towards a long, loving relationship.

Let’s find out what emotional safety is and how you can nurture it in your relationship.

What Is Emotional Safety?

Feeling safe in a relationship refers to the ability to be open, vulnerable, and intimate with your partner. It’s how a deep connection is established and it is the sign of a genuine, healthy relationship.

People who feel emotionally safe can empathize much better, collaborate, and communicate with their partners. Unfortunately, feeling safe in a relationship is not something you decide upon overnight. It’s rather a state that takes trust, love, and work to achieve.

Some people may find emotional safety in relationships more difficult than others. Individuals who went through abuse may need therapy for help to recover and heal. Getting professional guidance to learn to build healthy relationships with yourself is also a solid foundation for a healthy, happy relationship in the future.

When we experience emotional safety, we trust our partner and relax when spending time together. You are confident that you both love each other, you let your guard down, and you are the most authentic true self. You can share your deepest thoughts without worrying about being judged or criticized.

This allows you to share your ideas, thoughts, fears, and desires, creating a deep bond with your better half.

What Are the Signs of an Emotionally Unsafe Relationship?

Emotionally unsafe relationships can be extremely lonely and disheartening. The lack of a deep connection with our loved ones makes us feel distant, you cannot communicate with your partner, and your bond is weak.

Partners tend to be defensive as they feel like they might be criticized, and there can often be tension.

What Are the Benefits of an Emotionally Safe Relationship?

There are many advantages to emotional safety in relationships. Instead of feeling like you’re walking on eggshells with your partner, wondering when they may snap, you feel cherished, loved, and protected.

Some of the main benefits include:

  • You can be yourself without feeling like you will be judged or criticized;
  • You can share your innermost thoughts and desires, building a strong bond with your loved one;
  • You feel valued and worthy;
  • You can share your pain, fears, and weaknesses without being taken advantage of;
  • You can express yourself freely;
  • You feel understood and heard.

How to Increase Emotional Safety in Your Relationships?

Nurturing emotional safety is not a one-step process. Rather, it takes time, work, and patience. Although it may take time to reach this stage in your relationship, you and your relationship are worth this effort.

Communicate with Your Partner

The first step of creating emotional safety is to raise awareness. Discuss this topic with your partner and try to come up with opportunities regarding what is okay, what is not okay. Discuss what makes you feel safe and unsafe, whether you feel guilty about something, and how you would do it differently.

Be Dependable

It’s always a challenge to be around someone who is unpredictable and moody. If you are inconsistent in your behaviors and thoughts, you can sabotage emotional safety. Make sure you are consistent: do what you say, say what you mean, and be dependable, no matter what.

Keep your promises, even if it is not convenient or comfortable for you.

Treat Them as You’d Like to Be Treated

We cannot change the whole world, but we can change ourselves. If you want to feel accepted and understood, be the first one to make the step in the right direction.

Avoid criticizing or judging your partner, and show curiosity regarding their thoughts, ideas, and be sensitive to their weaknesses. You may disagree with your loved one, but make sure you refrain from jumping to conclusions or making harsh statements.

Emotional & Physical Space

Wanting to create a stronger bond should not be a pretext for suffocating the other person. Feeling safe in a relationship is not about pressuring the other to share more than they want to. Compromise is important, but so is respecting boundaries and allowing our partners to be autonomous and independent.

When you give space, both physically and emotionally, you show your partner that you trust them and you want them to be happy, even if it may not involve you at times.

Cheering Is Important

Be your partner’s greater supporter – praise their achievements, lift them up when they are feeling down, and compliment them. Praise them in public, but make sure you don’t force it or overdo it to the point they feel embarrassed.

Find something thoughtful they did, or when they achieved something, and share it with others, too. This will show your partner that you are truly proud of them.

 Listen to Your Partner

When you talk to your partner, turn off the TV, put your smartphone away, and shut down your laptop. Keep eye contact , be present, and truly listen to them when they are speaking. Use verbal cues to show them you are attentive and listening to their words.

When your partner communicates with you, avoid criticisms, judgements, or trying to fix every situation. This will make your partner defensive and they are likely to avoid talking to you in the future. Before adding in your two cents, make sure your partner finishes speaking.

 Show Love and Compassion

Even though it may be intuitive, it’s not so difficult to fall into this pitfall. We tend to take our partners for granted, which can hurt emotional safety in a relationship.

When your partner goes through a difficult time, be empathic and show them how understanding you are. Encourage them to tell you more about an embarrassing situation or something that makes them feel guilty.

Try Therapy

Many people engage a professional therapist to help them improve their relationships. Therapy is a powerful self-care tool for individuals and couples. It can help gain healthy communication skills, tools for overcoming relationships issues, and strategies to nurture emotional safety in partners.

For many, online platforms like Calmerry became the most convenient options to get professional help. You can talk to your counselor from anywhere, from any device.


All in all, emotional safety is the cornerstone of a happy relationship. It also leads to a fulfilling sex life in which both partners’ needs are taken care of, and develops a deep, close connection with your chosen one. While this kind of safety is difficult to develop, it will inevitably make your relationship flourish.



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