Texas

The Texas couple’s post about abortion goes viral

Cleburne, Texas – When they entered 2022, Kailee and Cade DeSpain were on their way to finally fulfilling their goal of becoming parents, after having bad luck along the way.


What You Need to Know

  • Kailee and Cade DeSpain struggled to become parents. Two ended in miscarriages and a daughter was born at 16 weeks and did not survive.
  • When Kailee was pregnant for the fourth time with a child named Finley, they discovered that she had triploidy, a condition that would be fatal.
  • The couple made the difficult decision to end the pregnancy, but due to the new Texas abortion law, they had to travel to New Mexico for the procedure.
  • Following the draft Supreme Court ruling, they shared their story online and it has since gone viral

The couple were in their fourth pregnancy after the two ended in miscarriages, and a daughter was born at 16 weeks and did not survive. In the middle of it all, Kailee was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She survived the cancer attack, but doctors warned her that if she returned, she might have to have a hysterectomy. The diagnosis put even more pressure on DeSpains to try to get pregnant again as soon as they could.

Her fourth pregnancy was as a child and the clearest path they had so far.

“That baby was Finley,” Kailee said. “It was very exciting.”

DeSpain and his doctors watched Finley grow up carefully, knowing all the problems they had in the past. They said there were a few small things that came up in the first few weeks of pregnancy, but nothing that caused concern. The couple was increasingly confident that Finley was their miracle baby. Then, around 15 weeks, things quickly turned south.

“She [Kailee’s doctor] She mentioned, by the way, just talking to herself, ‘Hmmm, there’s not a lot of liquid in there,’ “Kailee said.

Kailee also recalled that Finley looked a little more hunched over, with clenched fists stronger than a baby would normally do on an ultrasound. He was initially noted as part of his development, commenting that he looked like a small fighter in the womb.

The DeSpains ended up turning to specialists to further investigate things. That’s when doctors found something serious. The fluid around Finley was essentially missing.

“They [the specialists] he said he has no fluid, and that means he has no kidneys, “Kailee said.

The couple continued to wait, even traveling from their home in Cleburne to Houston to participate in clinical trials aimed at solving fluid problems. During those consultations, they said the news only got worse with each scan.

Doctors discovered that Finley’s heart had no chamber, so he could not direct blood flow. His brain was split and his organs were growing in the wrong sizes and not working properly.

The couple said genetic testing revealed Finley had complete triploidy. According to WebMD, it is a condition that affects 1-3% of pregnancies where the baby develops an extra set of chromosomes. There is no cure for triploidy, it has a 100% mortality rate and babies who have the full version and arrive at birth do not survive long. Doctors told the couple that Finley would never breathe and had no chance of surviving.

Kailee and Cade said the news devastated them and they didn’t know what to do next. They said doctors told them that trying to bring a baby with triploidy to term would usually end in a miscarriage, but it also posed many risks to the mother. Those risks were exacerbated for Kailee, who was dealing with cancer recovery and past problems.

The DeSpains said they never imagined a scenario where they would choose an abortion, but now it was basically their only safe option. They soon realized that it would not be an easy path.

“She [the doctor] he said, “but you have to understand that we can’t do anything in Texas,” Kailee said, “and I said, ‘but you’re not going to live.’

The DeSpains were going through this after the state passed SB8, the Texas abortion law that gives citizens the power to sue anyone who helps abort in the state after a heartbeat is detected, usually within six weeks. .

Despite Finley’s inability to develop and survive, his heart was still beating. The law allows doctors to perform abortions when the mother’s life is at stake. However, the danger of Kailee, the couple thought, could be seen as not immediate at that exact moment, although it would probably be in the coming weeks.

Doctors told them they could not perform the procedure and referred DeSpains for out-of-state help. The couple booked an appointment at a New Mexico clinic where they had to be on a two-week waiting list behind other women seeking out-of-state abortions.

“Powerless is a great word to describe,” Cade said.

The couple said those two weeks were unbearable, especially for Kailee, who remembered feeling Finley inside her. She said she was barely moving due to lack of fluid and her organs developed completely poorly. Fortunately, they said they could pay for the trip to New Mexico, although it was far from a trip they would like to remember.

Kailee and Cade recalled entering the clinic through a crowd of protesters shouting at them from all sides.

“This woman is yelling at me through a megaphone, ‘Please don’t kill your baby, we have resources for you,'” Kailee said.

Cade said he even tried to interact with protesters to make them understand their situation, that there were no resources that could help them, but said no one was interested in hearing him. Kailee said she could hear the screams outside all the time as she underwent the procedure.

They lost to Finley on March 18th. Because the procedure had to be done out of state, they had to wait weeks and pay a lot of money for their ashes to be sent back to Cleburne so his family could say goodbye. He is now sitting in a small urn next to a stuffed giraffe containing a recording of his heartbeat. The clinic also handed DeSpains copies of Finley’s footprints that are now tattooed on Kailee’s arm, along with those of the daughter they previously lost.

It’s probably understandable for most that the couple doesn’t like to share the painful story. It’s a very fresh wound for them, but things have changed after the leaked Supreme Court opinion draft Roe v. Wade earlier this month. The draft shows that the high court may be preparing to overturn the decision that makes abortion a right in the United States

As they continued to deal with her own pain, Kailee said her social media timelines were filled with comments about the draft. Many people she considered friends for a long time, who knew what was going on, openly celebrated the prospect of ending the right to abortion, or at least a return to the states that decide on the right to abortion.

“I’m looking at it and I’m thinking,‘ Well, what about women like me? ’” Kailee said.

Reluctantly, the couple posted the story of their trip on Kailee’s Facebook page, giving every detail, every moment of their arduous unfortunate journey that led to the loss of four children they desperately wanted to have. They said they originally only made the post to reach out to some of their loved ones and show them that the subject is not always in black and white.

“I left it in public at the possibility of someone seeing it and would change my mind,” Kailee said. “I didn’t expect it to be 97,000 shares.”

In fact, as of March 18, the post had surpassed 100,000 shares on Facebook with thousands of comments, some supporting the right to abortion and others against abortion. The couple said it was all overwhelming but also therapeutic. Others shared similar stories with them or said that the story made them think a little more.

Kailee said it’s still hard, but as the stock count increases she can’t help but feel a little better, as Finley’s short time could make all the difference.

The Texas couple’s post about abortion goes viral

Source link The Texas couple’s post about abortion goes viral

Back to top button