Interview with Katie Milkman: How to actually change your behavior for the better

The table of contents is a little difficult. [laughs] Someone said, “God, this is very depressing!”

When asked if a person is average, below average, or above average, the majority rate it as above average. This is mathematically impossible. And behavioral changes seem to begin only by admitting that they are flawed in many ways.

Yes, that’s actually the way you’re above average. This is interesting. The worst thing you can do is to be naive. favorite, There is no need to provide special accommodation to avoid them. I’m going to reach my goal without crutches. If you do that, it’s basically useless. Some people get there, but for most of us it’s a catastrophe.

As soon as you start to notice, I tend to feel stressed in my diet. Or, I don’t plan to go to the gym because I don’t enjoy going to the gym. Rather watch TV. It’s time for magic to happen. You can say, “Oh, wait, this is a problem.” Moreover, it can be solved! Like a math problem. There is a solution.

So start with self-awareness.

completely. That’s really two things. [My team’s] We talk a lot about people’s perceptions of how useful the tools of the world are in our solution. There are many tools that make things easy, but when you see something that works easily, you blame yourself, not the tool. Therefore, you need both self-awareness and awareness that there are useful tools.

In most cases, you may not have the better skill set, willpower, and abilities that others have in their lives. So that’s obviously important too. But in many cases, the person you respect and think you understand everything is most likely finding your own flaws. It’s more about the system than the person. Angela Duckworth does a great study of investigating those we think we are self-controlling and showing that we actually have good habits. They use self-control. It does not mean. It’s just an autopilot.

You write in another part of the book about a study that shows that forming habits that are as “tenacious” as possible is achieved through flexibility, even though routines are important for habit formation. Exercise at the same time every day. What do you think about the mix of flexibility and routine?

Once a habit is created, my habit tends to be a “whatever” habit rather than a “if any” habit. So no matter what, I’ll talk to Angela Duckworth every week to find time to check in. I have a default time, but if that doesn’t work, I always change my schedule. I’m teaching my son to read now and I have a regular time of 20 minutes a day, but any rule is fine.

It also has a “what” effect, named after the tendency to snowball a small setback into a big failure. [Think: if you’re trying to eat healthier, but allow yourself a couple of chips, and then think, what the hell, why not have the whole bag?] When establishing a new habit, how can you prevent it?

To be honest, when asked what we want to study next and what we will focus on in the next 20 years, we underestimate how important the effect of “what on earth” is. I think you are doing it. We are all depressed and give up. And we need to understand it better. I don’t think the answer I give in this book is enough to solve for all of us, but it’s like the best I’ve seen. It is a work of thinking. If you are frustrated, ask: “What did I learn from the fact that it happened? How do I grow from it?” On the contrary, “Oh, I smoke.”

Interview with Katie Milkman: How to actually change your behavior for the better

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