“Avatar” Plot: Do you remember this?

In my head it’s a bit like Disney Pocahontas? There’s some kind of science or exploration space guy and he’s probably on a mission to space looking for “unobtanium”. That’s the only thing I remember for sure, because even though I was sunburned and tired and the 3D glasses gave me a headache, I was stunned by the insanity of that word choice: UNOBTANIUM. Come on James Cameron. How deep were you in your little one-man submarine when you came up with it?

Okay, I guess the people from Earth end up somewhere in another galaxy on a planet that has some kind of FernGully atmosphere, and there are clashes with the big blue locals. I haven’t seen the film since that original viewing, but I believe the blue boys just aren’t problematic in hindsight, and have a vague feeling that they might have been problematic at the time. My great memories are: runes, loincloth, Zoe Saldana. They are known to be very long and tall and I think they are strong too?

Oh my god I’m sorry I just remembered they all TURN into THE BLUE GUYS even the people that are from earth. I can’t remember how they do it, maybe somehow matrix way, like with a plug? Or through quasi-spiritual space magic? I think this is possibly one of those films that has a lot of shots of scientists grouped around a screen in a very “sir, you’re going to want to look at this” sort of thing, while a spiritually older character keeps his eyes calm and serene closes Things start to glow that science says shouldn’t glow. I think the glow could also be in some kind of unnecessarily erotic part of the movie?

The resolution and the end of the film are completely empty for me. But I reckon it leaves five films full of unanswered questions, so how satisfying could it be? — Monica Heisey, writer

“I’m not sure what I associate this with right now The Matrix.”

What I remember is like a guy who gets attached to some shit and then he’s in the Na’vi world with all the blue people on the blue people’s planet. And they’re at a war or something and he’s in love with a blue lady. The thing with him in the goosebumps and in this other world is something I’m not sure what I’m connecting with right now The Matrix. I’m sort of in the same boat about: I don’t really remember that much vis a vis Avatar 1. – Brandon Wardell, comedian

“Aesthetically pleasing like a Windows screensaver.”

I don’t remember anything avatar, although I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it twice in cinemas. The main plot points flicker in my brain before their more biased parts merge them with the live action Smurfs film, the music video for Daft Punk’s “Digital Love” and the Saturday morning cartoon from the ’90s reboot– an inelegant mishmash of blue lives that finally matter. The film was fine, aesthetically pleasing like a Windows screensaver, and perhaps my inability to recall anything specific about the film speaks to the fact that it borrowed heavily from other films while making little attempt to hide its credentials . — Chris Gayomali, GQ Article Editor

“I think the film was about exploring how striking an allegory can be.”

So I’ve never seen avatar. But just my general impression at the time is that the movie came out in 2009 and to see a movie with really stunning graphics of tropical locations was as much excitement as people could afford I think so now it’s the highest rated movie all-time earnings. I remember people saying it had the same storyline as FernGully: The Last Rainforest, that’s also a movie I don’t remember but saw. And it’s about protecting the environment. I know that in there avatar, people are looking for a substance called “unobtanium,” so I think the movie was about the fight, to see how flashy an allegory can get before people walk out in the middle. I think it was a parable about environmental protection. But it didn’t work because they still had to do it Don’t look up. Which I think was enough and now the environment is cool. – Josh Gondelman, comedian and head writer for Desus and Mero

“They did it with their ponytails.”

I remember! Okay, what happened was that Kevin Costner was sent to explore this strange land filled with ferocious eagles, buffalo, and restless aliens. But then he met a pre-sneakers Mary McConnell, who played the alien buffalo lady. Then Costner said, “At first I was scared of this strange new country and its customs, but now I’m one with it. And I love the buffalo girl.” And then he and McConnell did it with their ponytails. Drew Magary, writer

“It’s a bit odd and intimate, but not really relevant to the overall storyline, so don’t worry.”

There’s a planet, Pandora, that has these giant blue dudes, but also a bunch of this stuff called Unobtanium that Giovanni Ribisi wants. It is also the future and we can obviously go to other planets. (Not for nothing did Delroy Lindo also call the metal he used on the ship that goes into the earth’s core unobtanium the corewhich came out like a decade ago avatar.) Anyway, while the miners and military escorts dig for the Unobtanium for Giovanni Ribisi, some scientists, including Sigourney Weaver and the game developer, tune out grandma’s boy study the giant blue dudes called Na’vi. The scientists have devised a way to beam your consciousness into a blue guy’s host body so you can hang out with the blue guys, and that body is called yours [looks directly into camera] avatar. You sleep in a pod while running around with the blue guys, and when you’re awake in your human body, the avatar sleeps instead.

“Avatar” Plot: Do you remember this?

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